Resilience is often viewed as an individual pursuit, a deeply personal process through which we find the strength to endure and recover from adversity. It sounds triumphant. Heroic, even. To conquer the obstacles single-handedly and still have energy to keep on going. For me, this perspective simply reinforces the old “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” view of the world. It says nothing of the collective resistance needed to foster resilience, because if we look closer, resilience is not a solitary act—it can only be found in connection.
Resilience, at its core, is relational. As humans, we are hardwired for connection, which plays an essential role in how we process and recover from trauma. Through authentic, compassionate connections, we find a sense of belonging and comfort in knowing we are not alone with our struggles. When we lift each other up—by being present, listening deeply, and offering support—we create the conditions necessary for healing. This is what we do in our equine facilitated work for both humans and horses. The essence of resilience is found in these connections that allow us to attune, support, and transform with each other, so that the relationship becomes the therapeutic or learning intervention.
Supporting others fosters a sense of purpose, which in itself is a protective factor against stress and adversity. Helping others in times of difficulty fosters a profound sense of safety and belonging. When we know that someone genuinely cares, we feel secure and understood, two factors critical to resilience. This feeling of safety also allows us to take emotional risks, opening up about our own challenges and, in turn, enhancing our resilience by reducing isolation.
Helping someone else reminds us of our shared humanity and our inherent strength. This empathy broadens our understanding of resilience, helping us approach our own struggles with greater patience and flexibility. By seeing resilience in others, we internalize it, realizing that resilience is not a fixed trait but a shared resource.
The past few months have been brutal for many of our HERD members. Natural disasters of wildfires, hurricanes, flooding, and tornadoes wreaked havoc not just in the USA, but across Europe too. When we launched our HERD Disaster Relief Fund, we were hoping to offer those in our community who were most in need some small financial contributions towards rebuilding their lives. As the donations poured in, I realized that folks who were in need were also making donations. When it came to opening the applications process, these same individuals were hesitant to apply for a grant because they were worried that they might be taking support from others who might need it more. It brought to light this process of collective resilience and how our HERD Community embodies it. I am humbled by our collective strength and I am so thankful to every single one of you – HERD members, students, graduates, instructors, and staff – who have shared your compassionate, vulnerable, selves in community so that we can all lean on each other. What I realize now, more than ever before, is that when we do this in community, we’re not just offering temporary relief. We’re creating spaces that allow for profound transformation. As we support each other, we provide a foundation that enables resilience to grow. In these moments, we don’t just witness resilience – we become resilience for each other.
What a gift this is to witness! What a gift you all are. As we head into this period of Thanksgiving and the holiday season, I’m looking forward to connecting with you all at our December HERD Gathering and wishing you all the gift of shared resilience.
With love and gratitude,
Veronica